Our agonising loss of Ben

Last evening, and without warning, we lost our precious son, brother, and for Dabi, her husband.

During the late afternoon, part way through Josh’s 18th birthday and just as we were arriving to visit Ben, he suffered a seizure and went into cardiac arrest. After a brief time working on him in the Mardon Centre, the nurses and paramedics rushed him round the corner to A&E, where after a further time of attempted resuscitation, they could do no more. Somewhere in the midst of all the activity, he slipped away…home.

We are heartbroken beyond words to describe. It all seems horribly unreal. The waves of grief and an awful numbness have moved in as we gasp and heave in agony for our wonderful firstborn, an amazing and inspirational big brother and, for Dabi, a precious soul mate.

Only a few days ago, Ben had spoken with us about the possibility of this happening. We’d asked him how he felt about it and he expressed so clearly his peace about dying. He and I had only 24hrs before read through the words he’d written on the source of his hope here on the blog in November. As many wonderful friends gathered at the hospital with us in the hours after he died, we all took hands and prayed. Ben would have been among the first to have said, “Amen”.

Thanks for the many, many messages that have started pouring in. The road ahead is going to be wracked with grief and tears. But your love, care and prayer is wonderful.